Hair is being a problem for me. Facial hair, I don’t like shaving (painful) (bloody). Not shaving it also sucks (prickly little growths) (spiky). Trimming isn’t really sufficient.
Also, chest hair is being an issue. I don’t want to try to shave it (that would be another level of hell). Trimming also leaves behind spiky hair that stings.
Hair growth on my head is going nicely. I like it. Then I think about how I will need to go to my parents during the summer and I don’t want them to know about my situation so I am going to have to keep my hair relatively short 
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I’ve also started thinking that I should lower the dose of my hormones to slow down feminization. At this rate, I won’t be able to hide my chest growths even with a breast binder. My parents want me to be over for basically the entire summer and I don’t have a good excuse to not go. How am I to live with them in the same house while still hiding my feminization? 
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any hairy man will tell you that if your shaving leaves you bleeding you’re doing it very wrong. I only cut myself if I’m in a rush, and even then it’ll just be a little nick. Also, it’s better for getting a close shave AND for comfort to shave little and often, rather than to leave it for a while and have to cut through it when it’s dense.
Go watch some YouTube tutorials.
if you havent already try a safety razor, have found success. also make sure to use shaving cream if you arent… you can always just say you like your hair better long, or that it better covers you from the sun, etc. cis people really dont notice this stuff. with boobs, again, cis people really dont notice this stuff. also lowering your dose wont slow down feminization itll just make you feel like complete garbage, bad idea. also you can always just not go. you dont have to give them an excuse. you are out living your life being your own person, you arent their property or their employee they cant just tell you what to do (and even if you were their employee your not on the job right now :p).
also lowering your dose wont slow down feminization itll just make you feel like complete garbage
There goes that plan
also you can always just not go.
It would be such an asshole move to not go. My mom feels so lonely all the time because I’m not there.
It would be such an asshole move to not go. My mom feels so lonely all the time because I’m not there.
You aren’t responsible for her. You aren’t her parent. It’s not your job to keep her happy. Also it sounds like a pretty asshole move to not accept her daughter for who she is, and to try and make her come over for an entire summer when she’s out living her own life and being her own person.
i urge you to prioritise your own wellbeing over placating your mom.
It would be such an asshole move to not go. My mom feels so lonely all the time because I’m not there
I think this is maybe worth examining a bit? My perspective might be colored by the manipulation of my parents, but it’s too much to take responsibility for your mom’s happiness.
I think to have kids means to accept, in some measure, that they grow and separate themselves to make their own life. You’re always going to have to make your own life, so staying with them now just delays that separation a bit.
I think your health (in not forcing yourself into a mold that doesn’t fit you) is more important here. She shouldn’t be using you as a crutch; she’s her own person and needs to be responsible as well.
Feel free to ignore anything that isn’t helpful here. I just want to highight that how you feel is worth prioritizing.
It’s an asshole move to give your daughter shit for growing out her hair and taking gender affirming care.
Don’t adjust your transition goals for the people in your life. If they won’t accept you, then they’re not worth spending the summer with.
for what it’s worth, cis people are generally completely clueless about gender. i would bet that if you put even the tiniest bit of effort into boymoding, they probs will not notice anything. for your face, if it’s bleeding and hurts, something is wrong, even with thick hair it shouldn’t be like that. what kind of razor do you use?
Regular supermarket razor with 2 blades.
Highly recommend wet shaving with old style replaceable blades and shaving soap. Canned foam goo is a crime against skin. I can recommend brands but don’t want to sound like a shaving commercial. I just detest the present day shaving experience since I have a ridiculous beard and super sensitive skin.
use very hot water, wash the face beforehand for a good few mins or ideally take a shower, use plenty of a nice shaving foam or oil (maybe try switching), minimal pressure (!!!), short strokes, go with the grain first then against, rinse with lukewarm water and moisturise a lot.
Make sure your face is wet when shaving, and try different shaving creams. Use multiple light strokes, like you’re petting a cat, not one long scrape, like you’re mowing the lawn.
i have pcos so i have pr bad facial hair problems, might be a bit diff from mtf but for me, the best thing to remove my facial hair is waxxing. i have a little waxxing kit i use. you might also wanna try nair. my mtf bestie likes nair but i always found my skin too sensitive for it.
sorry you have to boymode, comrade
I feel like my whole life is defined by cowardice.
I’ve done everything I can to avoid painful/unpleasant experiences. I am even half assing the choice of finally living my gender. I want to have my cake and eat it too. I want to become a different person in my own eyes and don’t want others to treat me differently. I want my parents to continue sending me money for my studies, but also want then to know nothing about me. It’s all so ridiculous and delusional and I’m headed for self destruction.
Damn I feel this. I really want to live true to myself and be who I want to be, but I’m also crippled by anxiety and a fear of confrontation. Being openly queer invites people to dislike you and I really want to be liked by everyone
Presumably part of what’s motivating you is also a strong drive to survive. This is a good thing and I wouldn’t define the desire to survive as “cowardice.”
When I met with one of my profs from uni post transition I told him “different name, different gender, same me” - and he gave me a big hug and shouted my new chosen name :) I wish that had been the story of my coming out to my mom. It wasn’t bad or horrible, she just didn’t say anything, we sat together silently and then I just left.
I’m not sure what’s going on with your face that it’s painful and bloody when you shave. You need to use a clean good razor, stick with the fewest number of blades - not 4 blades not 3, 1 or 2 blades. It depends on the coarseness of the hair - in the military, some people who have facial hair get shaving waivers because it’s quite difficult to keep their faces clean shaven in a healthy way. But I bet if that’s the case for you, you’d be a pretty perfect candidate for laser hair removal.
For your chest hair, you could pluck it depending on the number. E will eventually cut down your body and facial hair growth. You also could wax. Plenty of cis men wax if your parents ask, because not everyone is into chest hair.
You could keep your hair long and put it in a “man” bun while visiting.
I wouldnt advise cutting down your HRT. If you have to stay for 3 months in the summer, you probably won’t grow that fast during that and if you already have growth it’s not going to shrink them back. Cis people don’t notice shit, you might be surprised what you can get away with. You could take a page out of trans guys books and try a tight sports bra or a binder - don’t wear them all the time, it’ll affect your chest development.
Why are my thoughts at 1 am so heavy
? This was supposed to be a post about hair!
