rando895 [she/her]

  • 0 Posts
  • 22 Comments
Joined 1 year ago
Cake day: January 26th, 2024
  • rando895 [she/her]@lemmygrad.mltotraaaaaaannnnnnnnnns@hexbear.net•It's really hot - Trans Megathread for the week 2025-06-30 to 2025-07-06
    2·
    20 days ago
    spoiler

    Thanks for the message. Coming out to my parents for sure, though my mom told my partner that she can tell theres some kind of barrier between us. Maybe I should tell her I’m bi first… Lol.

    I’m definitely struggling with knowing what I want/like (in general really) and its no doubt from years of hiding. I have just came out to the first person I wanted to (my partner basically figured it out so I didn’t have to tell them lol) and the rest of the day I was so exhausted from the anxiety and sudden ending of the source of it, I could hardly keep my eyes open. I’m feeling less anxious now which is nice, but I think I’ll still be worried about treatment by the public.

    Ohh, and I’m a national level athlete in a very gendered sport. So thats weighing on me pretty heavily too.

  • rando895 [she/her]@lemmygrad.mltotraaaaaaannnnnnnnnns@hexbear.net•It's really hot - Trans Megathread for the week 2025-06-30 to 2025-07-06
    4·
    22 days ago

    I have been told by my partner that I am very much a stereotype lol. When he found out and we talked about it, he said “ohh that makes sense” like wtf is that supposed to mean? I thought I was hiding it well lol. He told his “work wife” and you know what she said? Ohh yeah that makes sense.

    So now I’m not really surprised when my story is similar to so many others lol.

    Tbh I don’t know if I’ve ever had it… If I have some at home I’ll report back.

    I have been painting my nails and doing my hair for a while now (nail polish helped me stop biting my nails so thats nice) but I’m less weird about it now. So I look forward to being less weird about it outside of my safe space. Really though, and maybe this is sad, but I’d like to be invited to girls night. Last time that group of friends had one they thought I wouldn’t enjoy it. Which is fair given that I was incognito.

    Also confidence. Especially so that I can harass hateful people /fascists. Its one of lifes great pleasures.

  • rando895 [she/her]@lemmygrad.mltotraaaaaaannnnnnnnnns@hexbear.net•It's really hot - Trans Megathread for the week 2025-06-30 to 2025-07-06
    3·
    22 days ago

    I dont know :( Right now I’m enjoying the relief of not hiding it from my partner or myself, and having a safe space at home. I play a sport competitively that I will likely have to give up so thats occupying a big part of my mind.

    Its a good question though, I guess its easy for me not to look forward given the obstacles I’m going to face.

    Thinking as I write, I’m looking forward to being able to be more authentic and emotionally available (this is already happening) so that I might finally be able to build meaning relationships. Also wearing clothes that I like, and not just black rectangles lol.

  • rando895 [she/her]@lemmygrad.mltotraaaaaaannnnnnnnnns@hexbear.net•It's really hot - Trans Megathread for the week 2025-06-30 to 2025-07-06
    5·
    23 days ago
    spoiler

    Omg the first sentence is very true lol. Like I was wearing femme clothes in private, and only bought things that I could most easily hide under mens clothing, or were super cheap and not something I had (like I had one dress so I wouldn’t buy another). Now that my partner knows, its so hard to look at clothes and think whether or not I like it, since I got so used to just having whatever. And when dressing masc my whole life, I never really liked anything. Come to find out, apparently I looked weird in mens clothing lol.

    I’ve tried make-up a few times, and would take pictures. Its when I started tearing up and thought “wait, am I hot?” that I realized I had to do something instead of hiding. And luckily I have great hair :) I have even been cat called which was a weirdly mixed experience. I wasn’t even really presenting femme, just bent over in my garden…

    Thank you

  • rando895 [she/her]@lemmygrad.mltotraaaaaaannnnnnnnnns@hexbear.net•It's really hot - Trans Megathread for the week 2025-06-30 to 2025-07-06
    8·
    23 days ago

    Sorry I meant ask me a few questions. I don’t really know tbh lol. I’m just trying to find a productive way to work through my anxieties.

    spoiler

    For example just saying I want to use she/her pronouns is hard even though its true. I’ve been taking baby-steps towards presenting more femme, pushing myself up to and slightly past my comfort zone but in safe spaces.

    I’m a tired millennial and really don’t want to keep waiting until someone finds out or I’m 100% ready. I have too much else to do. I do have an appointment with a therapist, but I don’t want to just wait until then to try and work through my stuff

  • rando895 [she/her]@lemmygrad.mltotraaaaaaannnnnnnnnns@hexbear.net•It's really hot - Trans Megathread for the week 2025-06-30 to 2025-07-06
    10·
    23 days ago

    I hope I’m doing this right, sorry if I’m not

    spoiler

    So my egg cracked about a week ago, my partner has been really supportive and I am so much more emotionally available, which is obviously great. Though 20 years of pent-up stuff has me crying every time I think of how greatful I am. I’m posting because I want to get used to talking about being trans since I definitely have a bunch of internalised transphobia (yay…) and I think talking about it will help normalize it for me.

    I do have a few supportive friends that I want to tell, but it still feels kind of cringe… So if anyone could, I would be so happy to have someone ask a few questions.