Gooner gamers are the cringiest people in the fucking world.
What I don’t understand is, there’s many gooner games already, why do this ? Is it because those games aren’t good?
I think because they find it culturally threatening for there to be prominent, popular, critically-appreciated video games that don’t reinforce and endlessly recapitulate their misogynistic worldview via the contorted and objectified depiction of women. That means there will be more gamers who maybe don’t like it or think it’s weird, and suddenly their boys’ club has been disrupted, and maybe it’ll get undermined further if it spreads . . . So there’s nothing to do but howl at the moon and send death and r— threats to hold the line.
It’s also a lot of bots.
it’s definitely more that they complain about anything that doesn’t directly cater to them but no deliberately horny game has ever been as good as Tsushima.
This game would be a lot better if I could play it one handed.
The game: SpongeBob SquarePants: Battle for Bikini Bottom
G*mers: We demand historical accuracy in our games!
Devs: ogey
Also G*mers: Wow, if you knew anything about the warring states period you’d know it was common for women to have breast implants and flaunt them yabbos in public.
women with big breasts were invented whatever year the wonderbra was first created
The average used to be way smaller due to malnutrition, but it would be highly unlikely for a swordswoman to dress in that manner regardless, because it’s seriously impractical (and literally painful) for zero benefit, even if we assume it’s totally indifferent culturally. SFS is overstating his claim by suggesting it’s completely necessary that those are implants, but it’s 100% true that this is gooner fantasy shit regardless.
Annie Hawkins-Turner holds the Guinness World Record for the largest natural breasts, with a recorded size of 102 ZZZ, weighing approximately 89 pounds in 2012. Her condition is known as gigantomastia, an excessive growth of breast tissue that developed from an early age.
89 pounds
How the fuck did she walk around with those holy shit her poor spine
That’s like a whole person strapped to your front.
Tbf, I’ve watched women do exactly that. To be fair, often very small people, but that’s still in the neighborhood of 20 pounds or so. Plus whatever a more average female chest weighs. (I’m referring, of course, to various means of wearing a baby or young toddler.)
89 pounds is a fully grown person though. A small one, but still.
I knew someone with n cups. Big pain in lots of different ways. She got a reduction
Could imagine, must be hell.
Turner
spoiler
Then they waited 7 years to weigh her breasts?
Yeah I goofed up and thought she died in 2005 bleh
Her breasts were weighed 7 years after her death?
No nvm google said she died but she’s still alive lol
7·6 days agoHer husband died in 2005
ooooh thanks for the clarification
I really don’t understand why some people want video games to be porn when actual porn exists
enforcing patriarchy via cultural hegemony
genuinely, sometimes you want to have little a horny, as a treat but not full-on pound town. it shouldn’t be everything like the tourists want but it was funny to have your RPG party run around in their skivvies and i’m very mildly disappointed when you can’t do that.
how are stellar blade PC mods doing?also games can be for people besides hopeless straight men and queer people should get to have sexy rizzed up characters too.
I don’t particularly want video games to be porn but if you don’t think it’s funny when my lady elf druid is hanging dong in Baldur’s Gate (the city, not the game) we can’t be friends
(Actually it got old long before I got that far into the game but doing the first section of the game buck ass naked was way funnier than it had to be)
The only sexy thing I know about that game is that you can do the deed with a bear who passes the Harkness Test. Which, as someone who very much wants a bear hug, I’m not interested in the sex, but I would like to literally sleep together (plus cuddles of course) with that bear.
It’s one of my favourite games but god DAMN is there a lot of sex in it. And yeah you can totally bone the bear (who is actually a human druid shapeshifted into a bear but even so)
Okay, so you can fuck the bear, that’s good shock value, but can you cuddle the bear? All I’ve ever wanted out of a game with bears in it, is to be able to hug the bear.
I don’t know, I never did fuck the bear.
Of course not. You’re a guy. “Choosing the bear” is more of a girls’ inside joke.
You can hug him at one point in the story while he’s in human form but I don’t think there’s ever the option to cuddle him in bear form.
Awww, that really sucks.
I love that in so many games with dogs or cats, you can pet the domestic animal and sometimes snuggle it or boop the snoot, but I don’t want “can you pet the dog”, I want “can you hug the bear”!
There’s an owlbear you can pet, if that counts for anything.
I went the Karlach route and there’s just the one scene, then some little date sequences. They hit you really hard early on though
Gamers: “I just want realism in my games!”
Also gamers:
gamers love realism except when it means depicting women as anything other than large breasted animes
That shit looks gross. Gamers like caricatures of women.
Honestly. I mean, I enjoy a video game here and there, and I’m into women that way and I do appreciate the occasional fanservice hot girl character that absolutely could be depicted far more average, but a comparison like this is just… you can appreciate pretty girls without wanting to objectify every woman you see, and you can appreciate nice breasts without insisting every single female character in a video game has to show off massive cleavage.
It’s not like there’s an entire catalogue of porn games that these gooners can choose from on steam.
They even have “sex with hitler” for those who really crave… historical accuracy.
I saw “sex with Stalin” on there, that’s at least somewhat less awful, right?
Yeah, I’m a centrist. I have sex with Hitler AND Stalin
Haha, classic centrist.
You’re in for a world of hurt if either of your boyfriends finds out who the other guy is, lol.
(I have actually seen some idiots who just think of Stalin as an authoritarian tankie dictator, ship those two with each other. It’s disgusting. And, y’know, I don’t like to imagine Stalin cheating on Lenin like that. Yes, I have Opinions about “yaoisheviks” stuff.)
fuck gooners
Please DON’T fuck the gooners.
You can try, but you’ll never find them. They live underground like lil gremlins.
They already have some sort of gooner samurai girl series of games with a punny name like onēchanbara or something
Also y’know if all else fails you can draw your favorite character with mega t&a gooner bait if you really want to. Like rule 34 has existed for decades now.
They also got Stellar Blade not that long ago and it still wasn’t good enough for them because some of the outfits were edited slightly
Nothing will ever be good enough for them because the point isn’t to offer a standard that would make them happy. It’s to have a perpetual grievance machine to justify that they’re feeling slighted by some marginalized group. You could give them Duke Nuke’em turned up to 11, they’d still break out the calipers to argue that the ratio of his forehead height to the gap between his nose and upper lip proves it’s a feminine face and thus trans propaganda.
duchess nukem would be a sick rollerderby name
Meanwhile, I find Nier: Automata to embarrassing to play lmao
I’m just glad my partner is as much of a hornball as I am
More than just one series, it’s basically a small subgenre and also a character archetype that shows up a lot in fighting games (Baiken, Narmaya, Yuzihara, and this isn’t counting gooner kunoichi). I’m not really sure why this specifically is so popular, unless it’s just katana + booba waifu being the most concentrated way to appeal to weebs.
gooner kunoichi
More like ぐんノー, amirite?
amirite
a舞rite
(like Mai Shiranui)
Is the thing in the original post here real? Or is that a joke at the expense of Internet duds? Poe’s law is too intense. No one can really believe that sincerely right?
y 3d lady no make peepee hard?
why peepee no go hard no more at all me must quit masturbation
Look man, until the science of inducing partial cellular dedifferentiation is out of its infancy, nothing is going to make you 14 again, least of all trying to drag video games back to their most embarassing epoch
Church for gamers: Christ on the cross but big titties busting out
someone should made a game where the objective is to kill the primordial god that is the source of all horniness
I think you can kind of do that in Fear and Hunger, but that game is, uh, not conducive to opposing creeps. I think you can struggle against it as a cosmic force in Lisa, but I don’t think you get much of a decisive victory over it.
