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1 day agoYesterday I was in the weird position talking about MFF and similar cons with my brother where it was weird because I don’t call myself a furry but considering myself too much of a furry to consider myself an “ally.”
WalrusDragonOnABike [they/them]
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Joined 2 years ago
Cake day: December 31st, 2023
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I’m awful at making and maintaining friendships. My only friend I actually made and maintained was someone who decided to try to talk with me because he broke up with his friend on the school bus (not romanically) and I played pokemon games sometimes on the bus and he was really into pokemon. So he talked to me despite me having apparently harassed him at a school event several years before (something I have no memories of). The rest are like my brother’s friend or my friend’s friend or my mom’s friend’s kid.
I have tried to put more effort into maintaining those friendships recently and being more proactive in reaching out to them, but I’m not good at it. But I’ve had some positive experiences this year with doing such this year.
3·8 days agoI feel like eggs and freshly cracked eggs are the primary target demographic.
IDK if I’m a boy and Gender is Boring by She/Her/Hers were the songs I listened to on repeat the year I realized I was trans. Both of which have ended up in my brother’s playlists as well.
LJG/Against Me! is probably the artist I’ve listened to the most consistently over the past like 13-14 years. Listened to her before the transgender dysphoria blues came out nearly 12 years ago (which is sometimes considered her coming out album*), but I was perplexed by her gender before that album because she used her deadname still back then, but like… I was pretty certain she was using she/her to refer to herself in Trash Unreal (which I still don’t know if she was referring to herself in third person).
She was already a favorite of mine before the transgender dysphoria blues came out and that easily became my favorite album of mine. Somehow I never realized that maybe really loving songs about gender dysphoria might suggest I had some introspection to do.
But its cool how my perception of even her old music has changed over the years such that I even find it affirming to sing along with even the oldest Against Me! albums. There may be some drama about her personal relationship with her now ex-GF, of which I know little about and perhaps is just smoke.
*Ocean and Searching for a Former Clarity came out well before that, but cis people are oblivious. TBF, I never listened to the lyrics until after I realized I was trans a few years ago.
I had an appointment with PP online and did bloodwork at a labcorp. There’s was pretty much no gatekeeping with my provider (basically just explained things, asked what my goals were which I answer was basically “idk”, asked if I wanted monotherapy or an antiandrogen). I’m in Texas and my insurance hasn’t had any problems with covering things.
Wait there’s fem without boobs HRT? That’s interesting… https://transfemscience.org/articles/serms-transfem/
There’s an old article about it. I think there’s been some work in trying to balance things to reduce the long-term risk of osteoperosis, but not sure how much success there’s been. TBH, I imagine a lot of the concern is just normal doctors/scientists being hyper-conservative in their recommendations (that blog being no exception to that tendency). But SERMs could at least give you some time to think about it while continuing HRT. Personally, I would have used them if there weren’t the concerns about long-term health risks (although in retrospec I’m glad I didn’t use them)
Congrats on the HRT anniversary and making it through Thxgiving! Glad to hear things are going well despite the family and job search.
One con they they don’t tell you about taking E: it makes it harder to submerge your body laying down in the bathtub without submerging your head.
Punk is my most listened to genre (especially folk punk), so my list will reflect that. The bottom of the list, I included a few very not-punk mentions.
In a unexplainable order (if I only listen to like one song, I’ll put it in parenthesis):
-Laura Jane Grace/Against Me!
-Sister Wife Sex Strike (not sure if they really write about trans topics)
-Ankle Grease
-Dog Park Dissidents (all of the music, but only Trans Starship BDSM paradise is specifically trans)
-Blue Foster (IDK if I’m a boy)
-Qfolk (Nonbinary Fantasy Trash Babe)
-The Spook School (Binary)
-Ryan Cassata (Gender Binary (Fuck you))
-Rotten Reputation (Dysphoria Borealis)
-Schmekel (Genderqueer Love Song)
-Stomach book
-femtynyl
-fem&m
-milkypossum
One of the albums that came out halfway through this year that I was my most listened to album of 2025 was from Strange New Places, which talk about their experience(s) being trans (no clue who writes the lyrics or if multiple members contribute - I just listen to the music). She/her/hers music also sings mostly about the trans experience.
If you just want to know more trans artists, I can just list more.
Personally, I’ve started from a point of being seemingly weirdly strong for how I don’t work out at all or do much physical labor (probably mostly being taller than a lot of people and overweight) and I haven’t had any issues with strength in just doing things I’ve always done 1.5 years in. I probably can tell a difference in my peak bicycling speed, but its not really something that affects me. But when it comes to things like moving furniture, I haven’t had any issues due to decreased muscle mass.
voice gendering
Not sure how much time they spend listening to trans fems talking, but I know I automatically gender typical early-voice-training transfem voices as women. Like one time I was listening to a streamer being surprised when they were correctly gendered over the phone and I was confused why they’d be surprised. They just sound like a woman to me. So I asked my cishet cousin for his opinion and (after I insisted I just wanted his honest opinion and there was no right or wrong answer as long as it was his sincere opinion cause he was clearly hesitant to answer), he said he’d have gendered her as male if judging just by voice. I still think streamer has a more negative opinion of her voice than what reality justifies: we are often our worst critics.
So, no clue if they are just in an unusual group who’ve have expanded how they gender based on voice compared to the average population, if they’re just being nice/afraid of offending, or if you just sound like a woman to average people. Nor could I give any sorta of realistic judgement. Either way, every person sounds like themself, so if someone is a woman then they automatically sound like a woman, so it ain’t a lie.
Personally, I don’t really think spiro is all that bad (as long as you aren’t taking high doses of it), at least to start with for quicker results until E has time to reduce T levels. Especially if you don’t want to start with needles (needles scary imo, so I couldn’t start with them - I was still doubting whether I wanted HRT a bit, so fear of needles would have prevented me from actually using it). Some plus sides to injections is it gives you a lot more control over your own treatment (you can just ignore what the doctor recommends and choose whichever dose you think is most appropriate) and you can stockpile reserves more easily.
I feel pretty confident I’m not a woman. But I could be non-binary. I guess I worry about taking on a label without “doing the work”… It feels like stolen valor if I don’t actively make a point to stand out (and I don’t always care to), but that’s probably just brainworms?
5 years ago, I avoided using they/them as my pronouns cause I had similar concerns. Now I have a hard time understanding what you mean even though I used to think the same (tbf, I probably never knew what I meant either; it was more of a feeling than a rational thought).
Like I’d probably even just stick to my current pronouns. I don’t even mind being called a man, but what does that mean if I’m rocking a skirt, purse, lipstick, jewelry and looking fierce? Could I say I’m non-binary if someone asked? Do I have to change my name?
I haven’t changed my name, despite it being a masc name and I don’t really mind that most people use masc pronouns. If you rather call yourself an NB than a man, do it. Whether its just something you keep to yourself or if you tell others doesn’t make any difference in whether you are an NB or not. Plenty of trans people rather not stand out either (even some NBs, despite there not really being any realistic way to be perceived as a cis NB). Being trans doesn’t obligate you to want to be a gender activist.
I’ve known for about 3.5 years now and I still feel like I’m taking some things so slow that there’s people who’ve known for 1 month and are further along than me in some ways. I don’t think I can’t give any advice, but that would probably include a advising not to emulate me.
If so, I’ve been breaking that rule for a long time. Pretty sure there’s been mods who weren’t even using hexbear accounts at least for a bit (although they generally eventually made hexbear accounts due to weird federation issues and such).
Brother apparently expressed my dislike of being called uncle to my parents and they’ve made an effort to be more careful with how they gender me!
TBF, I still haven’t expressed how I want to be gendered (except not wanting to be called Uncle, but that was months before coming out), so sorta my fault they’re not sure how I’d like to be addressed.