Link to the recipe, it’s vegan 
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questioning, self-doubt
So I’m cis I think. But I’ve have been having some pretty eggy thoughts lately, and occasionally engage in some minor crossdressing (I like skirts), in public even, a few times. Sometimes lipstick/lashes if I’m feeling extra.
I’m going to read Trans Liberation soon which will probably sort me out a bit more
I feel pretty confident I’m not a woman. But I could be non-binary. I guess I worry about taking on a label without “doing the work”.
Like I’d probably even just stick to my current pronouns. I don’t even mind being called a man, but what does that mean if I’m rocking a skirt, purse, lipstick, jewelry and looking fierce? Could I say I’m non-binary if someone asked? Do I have to change my name?
It feels like stolen valor if I don’t actively make a point to stand out (and I don’t always care to), but that’s probably just brainworms?
You can do whatever you want! Seriously, there’s not rules here (lots of people think there are, but fuck those people!).
You can use whatever name you want, pronouns you want, id as whatever gender you want, dress how you want, whatever. You can be a cis man who just likes to wear skirts sometimes or you could be non-binary (or maybe gender fluid or something else). There’s no correct answer in any absolute sense, there’s just what makes you feel right. All these terms just help us make sense of our experience, communicate that to others, and find community. That’s it. There’s not some magic essence inside you that must be properly named or anything.
And you can change your mind! Like maybe right now you decide not to change your name, but later you want to. That’s okay! And it’s okay if you never change it. And it’s okay if you change it, then end up not liking it and you change it again.
That was really helpful, thanks!
Yeah i don’t know all the nonbinary terms. I just know mine, genderfluid. Just because I didn’t fully do my homework on all the nonbinary terms doesn’t mean i don’t know which one I am.
Btw, I would love know know all the nonbinary terms by heart, but I can’t seem to have the terms solidly stick in my memory. I’m overwhelmed while reading them all.
sounds pretty enby to me fam
5 years ago, I avoided using they/them as my pronouns cause I had similar concerns. Now I have a hard time understanding what you mean even though I used to think the same (tbf, I probably never knew what I meant either; it was more of a feeling than a rational thought).
I haven’t changed my name, despite it being a masc name and I don’t really mind that most people use masc pronouns. If you rather call yourself an NB than a man, do it. Whether its just something you keep to yourself or if you tell others doesn’t make any difference in whether you are an NB or not. Plenty of trans people rather not stand out either (even some NBs, despite there not really being any realistic way to be perceived as a cis NB). Being trans doesn’t obligate you to want to be a gender activist.
I had a pretty femme dead name, I could have used it after I transitioned and no one would blink twice. Anyway, I still changed it because it never felt like me! I think changing or not changing totally makes sense depending om the person.