Hello lovelies! Everything is a lot lately, but we’re here to cheer you on and let you know that we are here with you. You are beautiful, you are loved, and you matter. 
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As always, we ask that in order to participate in the weekly megathread, one self-identifies as some form of disabled, which is broadly defined in the community sidebar:
“Disability” is an umbrella term which encompasses physical disabilities, emotional/psychiatric disabilities, neurodivergence, intellectual/developmental disabilities, sensory disabilities, invisible disabilities, and more. You do not have to have an official diagnosis to consider yourself disabled.
Mask up, love one another, and stay alive for one more week.
On a less personal but more managing related note, would anybody be opposed to me joining the mods of the disabled community? I’ve been talking to @un_mask_me@hexbear.net about it and have been considering it while I was down with my surgery stuff. I’ve come to the conclusion that I’d very much like to help out, but I do not wish to become a mod if the community isn’t okay with it.
can’t imagine anyone being against it tbh, you’re the disabled megas lil ray of sunshine and support
That’s what we’re all here for <3 support and a little bit of sunshine
that’s the exact attitude that makes me positive we’d all be happy with you as a mod.
just make sure not to burn yourself out!
got some cheap foam earplugs and they’re not the best but i don’t feel like crying so much when the doggies bark now
If you can afford it, look into Loops. They also make a few generic knockoffs that are just as effective.
I have been, actually! The foam ones are already irritating my ears because taking them out is super unpleasant so I just leave them in a ton of the time. Lol
Loops comes with a foam set and a silicone set, both with 4 different sizes. So depending on sensitivity issues, you have a lot of options to play with. I tried the foam first and didn’t like them and went with silicone They just feel like light earbuds. I went a size smaller so I notice them less and can keep them in longer.
Yippeeh!
I will never be interested in anything called a smear and school can’t make me.
take things too literally and you’re a hardass
let everything go and you’re plotting something, or setting someone up for failure
can’t win
my body feels so weak, dealing with a lot of stressors rn. but i also feel stupid bc it’s less stressors than most people deal with everyday but is completely paralyzing me
Your stress is too much for you, and that’s bad. It doesn’t matter if other people are more stressed. Only thing that matters is that you get to relieve your stress somehow or get rid of stressors affecting you. Hope that’s possible sweetie
Am I in the wrong? I sometimes, when people refer to bourgeois as inhuman or talk about people throwing away their humanity or being worthless, get my feathers a little ruffled and try to say something defending not their actions, but their humanity and its inherent worth. I fear I am being–or at least sounding–counter-revolutionary. I just think with the way dehumanizing is used against us (as communists but also “us” as in disabled folk) we would want not to wield it as a weapon ourselves. I also have some self-esteem/self-worth issues that make me want to defend my own humanity by defending that of any and every person. Then I know there are folks who don’t fully identify as human in various ways, and I kinda get that too, but I think that’s a different topic? Like, I know Musk is a nazi, but we can’t forget that he is capable of great kindness and chooses not to show it. If he is a snarling beast, who can blame him for his actions? If he is a human, who could not? I thought about posting something like this site-wide, but I’ve noticed some people on the site can be hostile towards more subtle disability issues, so I thought posting it here would reach more of the people I’m speaking to.
i always think this too actually!! it really bothers me when people say someone is an inhuman monster cos like, no, the whole point is that they aren’t! you are not inherently different from them in some genetic way, it’s only in a class way, which is why it’s important to acknowledge priviledge and material interests!
im like 90% sure this is an autism literal thinking issue, however
Ah, that may be it. I have some tendencies associated with autism, but I’ve never gone to get diagnosed. But yeah, it should be important to recognize that under different circumstances, we could be drastically different.
I think the definition of “inhuman monster” is the interesting crux here. The the origin of inhuman is probably ableist (I’m sure, I just don’t know for certain), I don’t see it much used in a “not human genetically speaking” kind of way. I guess the effect of the word is very much changed with common usage for a lot of people, leading to mean “Someone who willfully and knowningly behaves against the best interests of other humans and/or harms them”. From what you two describe, I think the word that has the meaning of dehumanization is probably “non-human”.
It’s semantics, let’s be real, and I don’t think either variant is good. But for me, using inhuman in that sense of actively working against humans actually feels pretty apt. I like using it on people like Musk, Thiel, Besos and the likes. Material conditions allowed them to change and become antagonistic against their fellow people, and they chose to do so. I hope we can come up with a derogatory word to put with bourgeois that isn’t ableist in origin tho.
Lol I can have GI issues, and I just farted for 30 seconds.
Honestly impressive (sorry for your GI issues, though)
Okay but thats kind of a superpower.
in the 90s you could’ve had a tv show
I don’t intend for this to be a public shaming, or want this user reported or harassed, I just want to talk about my feelings as an autistic person.
So the other day I posted this video (Why doesn’t Minecraft have infinite render distance?). Its a deep dive into why minecraft doesn’t have LODs and minecraft’s renderer. The creator is the author of the Distant Horizons mod, but he talks about other LOD mods as well. He also talks about the practical issues with implementing in vanilla, how it would effect gameplay, its very thorough.
Now, I’m very interested both in minecraft specifically and detailed explanations. Youtube’s algorithm is pretty bad sometimes, so I use the c/videos comm to find new stuff. I am actually sketching out a python script to add these videos to a playlist for me automatically, to have all my hexbear recs in one place on the platform. This website is a really important community for me, my favorite place on the internet ever. There’s definitely things I dislike, but its still very important to me. I do not have a lot of friends offline, for a few reasons.
Anyway, so imagine how I felt waking up to this:
No one should care about this.
Just straight up telling me that not only am I wrong for being interested, no one else should be either. I understand the whole redditor, “Mojang devs bad, un-optimized game, etc etc” attitude is bad. That obviously isn’t what I’m doing though, I just posted a whole video of why minecraft is the way it is. I’m not trying to scold anyone here because I don’t think those people exist here.
My dad would dismiss my interests a lot. I don’t have specific examples from my childhood- I just don’t remember a lot of things. One thing that’s been recent is my special interest in snakes, and him repeatedly either dismissing me or asking me why snakes and then telling me its just weird. I don’t talk to him about things I’m interested in because he frequently just doesn’t care at all.
I don’t know, it just hurt to be dismissed so completely about something I find really interesting and wanted to share with the group.
This site still has a lot of redditor culture including it’s hostility, for what is worth thank your for posting the video, I opened it and forgot to watch it, so I’ll get to it while I eat my lunch.
Also it’s the opposite of wrong to be passionate and nerd out, I think it’s pretty cute and cool
wtf yea that’s a weird reaction. i hate when ppl dismiss interests like that.
thank u 4 posting this though this is the perfect video to watch while i relax! i love videos like these
wtf yeah that person was just being shitty, sorry comrade. genuinely sounds like an interesting video.
First of all, I want you to know that being dismissed like this is never okay, no matter if it’s your dad or a random person on the internet. There is no shame in not liking the same things, so I think it’s not too much to ask of people to be polite and say “I don’t like X, but I’m glad you enjoy X.” How things are communicated is essential to make everybody feel accepted and heard, especially in such a niche of the internet as hexbear is. This is supposed to be a safe place for all who come here seeking it, so receiving a comment like this is downright shameful.
I actually saw the video you shared, and while I don’t know anything about Minecraft, I was smiling to myself thinking “I’ve been deep diving into Witcher Wild Hunt lore the last couple of weeks, trying to find anything I didn’t already know about the game, so I’m glad to see there is at least one other person on this site who loves to deep dive into games, their lore, technical aspects, or other stuff.” I felt seen just by you sharing such a niche topic video. You are not the only one who enjoys this, so please keep sharing whatever you find interesting! It’s what makes this site so much fun.
I’m glad you are having so much fun with Minecraft and snakes, and tbh, I’d love to learn a bit more about snakes! If you can recommend anything (reading, watching, maybe even games), I’d love to hear about it.
Thank you
and I’m really glad you felt seen by my post. That makes me feel really good, I will definitely keep posting.A lot of these youtubers are a bit more focused on keeping them as pets, so I’m not entirely sure if its what you’re looking for but I do have some to recommend:
Clint’s Reptiles he has a phd in biology education (iirc). He has videos on specific species and very information dense videos on evolution/the history of various clades and stuff like that.
Dāv Kaufman Has some really good videos where he goes to their native habitats. I haven’t watched much of his content but he’s well respected from what I remember.
Reach Out Reptiles This guy is a dwarf reticulated python breeder. He has lots of very informative videos on dwarf retics, explaining localities and everything that goes into it. He has snakes from the original imports. Very much special snakes to me and I’d love to get one eventually…
Snake Discovery has a lot of more fun videos, I haven’t watched them in a while. They’re a couple and she’s really fun. They also breed a lot so a lot of their videos are focused on that, might have to scroll through or look at most popular if you aren’t looking for that.
NERD has kinda a mix of videos too, but they have monitors and venomous stuff too. Lots of more exotic species. Kevin is autistic too and I really like the videos of him talking about snakes. He’s very knowledgeable and has been doing this for 30+ years. Some of their content, at least at some point in time, was shot and edited kinda obnoxiously but there’s plenty of good ones too.
Not educational but Snakebird and Snake pass are both fun snake based games :)
Yes, please keep posting!
And omg thank you for all the links, I already checked out the first channel! I swear I’ve never seen so many cute snakes all at once. :3
I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:
I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:
My university has implemented DRM on lectures (It’s not good DRM, you just access them on their intranet, but I’m a dum dum and don’t know how to record streams like this), and it’s fucking with my disability granted concession of being allowed to record them. >:(
I was promised, I have been given a tool that doesn’t work with this nonsense!
have you tried OBS? it might be worth a shot to see if it will work
either way that’s fucked up
Gonna try it tomorrow. They can’t get mad, I have a waiver
A puppy came up to me and licked my leg, sneezed, stepped away and came back for another lick. So I’m doing pretty great
I’ve been re-reading your comment for two days in a row and I’m still jealous. How cute was that puppy?!
It was a tiny labrador puppy. It was still at the shuffling around stage of walking. It was extremely cute.
I miss my full mobility
been almost 2 months now since I ate shit and hurt my ankle real bad. It happened during job training and while it didn’t swell up I still pushed myself too hard for nothing finishing with a limp. I had hoped that if I showed gumption and stick to it ness a job might materialize from it but nothing and I just pray after a new more months I’ll achieve movement pre accident.Oof, ankles are a mess. You always gotta give stuff time to heal. But that doesn’t help you now. Depending on what kind of damage you have (I’m assuming you sprained it?) a couple of months of healing isn’t too unrealistic for full healing. Especially if you sprained one or both of the tibiofibular ligaments or fucked up the deltoid ligament a lot. Don’t give up hope and look up some ankle exercises that match your injury.
ty I was never all that agile before this but it’s just a pain whenever a shooting pain comes up like say I’m moving lumber or trying to do some exercise like cardio. feeling my limitations is making me realize how much I took for granted
I get it. We all take the parts of our bodies that work for granted all the time. Whether it be functional senses like sight or hearing or not being in pain. And any kind of change there is distressing. That shit sucks.
admitting makes me feel weak, helpless, I’m forced to have my feelings alone or suffer beng treated like the freakshow that I am.
even the edgy writing I do from time to time of “no one understands me 💔” and the stupid stories I write with no meaning feel like too much I hate being perceived by others I hate how I perceive how people perceive me.
my life hasn’t been going well, I’m not good at getting over things.
I shall not perceive you, just leave you a hug you can take or leave.
Admitting anything is a huge hurdle to overcome. Don’t treat yourself too harshly for keeping feelings to yourself. <3
only thing that will bring me life is the destruction of capitalism
Once I find a sure-fire way to make this happen, I’ll let you know
Sort of finally sinking in and I’m doing a bit better but this still hurts so goddamn much. I have a place to stay temporarily until I can move into my apartment. I have a bunch of stuff ordered for moving but I’m gonna have to start a fund drive over on the mutual aid comms to get through this. I need to pay for a moving truck and get a few other things so I probably won’t need too much but it’s gonna be one of those “anything helps” posts.
I think I’m gonna be ok in the end. This sort of thing happens to me a lot. Just not quite on this scale. I fucking loved her so goddamn much and even though we had issues, she was the first person to actually put in the work for the support I needed. We have 2 kids together and she wants to do co-parenting with is great but this hurts so fucking much. I’m gonna be alone. I don’t need that much physical contact but I still need it. My depression is gonna get so much worse now.
I don’t know if/when I’ll try to date again but I need someone in my life, somehow. I’m 42 years old and this is the first time I’ll be on my own without any sort of direct support. I don’t know what the fuck to do.
And just like that I’m fucking crying again.
I have faith you’re gonna be okay, too, comrade. Hope you can heal well, and that you’re able to surround yourself with the kind of love you need. It’ll probably feel like a roller coaster for a while as you adjust, but it’ll even out as you find your footing again.
I think there is a real place for therapy, but also I think it serves to try to defuse revolutionary feelings. There are real things I’m fired up about, and I think I should be upset and passionate about them. But my therapist seems to want to make these fires into embers. Like, sorry ma’am, but I switched off one of my medications because I couldn’t feel as deeply while I was on it; I’m not about to let you numb me now. I’m switching to a different therapist now, hoping that’s better.
I got my therapist to say “Death to America”. I figure as long as therapy is covered by my insurance I can afford to spend some of the time doing communist soapboxing to a captive audience.
I remember telling one of my therapists how it was a big issue to me that I care about animal welfare and want to be vegan but struggle with that as my cancer treatment has caused so many food intolerances there are very few things I can eat without getting sick now. She just totally dismissed both my food intolerances (diagnosed by the endocrinologist, it’s not like I’m making it up) and my guilt at not being vegan. She told me to just eat whatever I like and not worry about it. So helpful! Absolutely useless, the lot of them.
Oof yeah. I get that feeling, though I’m not exactly sick and unable to eat vegan. There are barriers, but I could probably knock 'em down with some assertiveness. But yeah, that’s not cool that they acted like that. It’d be helpful if people in the business of helping people believed them about the help they need and actually helped them.
just eat whatever I like and not worry about it
I’ve been trying to wrap my head around what she could possibly have heard you say that would make this sentence make sense to her. None of what you said makes her make sense
Whenever I have therapy I will not mention many of my revolutionary feelings because of this. I find it way more useful to talk about those feelings with fellow leftists.
I agree, there is a lot of stuff that therapists want you to calm down about that you really shouldn’t. I hope you find one that is possibly even a fellow leftist
