Sequel to JohnBrownsBussy
Had a bit of a bummer day yesterday (nothing major, just went to town despite my friends cancelling their plans for understandable reasons, and ended up a bit bored and lonely), but I had a dream last night where I was clearly and unambiguously a woman. Most of my dreams involve me in a pre-transition state, so that was very nice and affirming to have.
Planning a Pride trip to a major USian city with my partner and some of their queer friends.
This was from last Saturday when I was hanging out with my partner, but I got catcalled for the first time last weekend. Just a drive-by by a passing driver while we were walking on the sidewalk in my partner’s hometown downtown. Honestly, I was kinda worried about the outfit I was wearing: it was for a party but the party got delayed by 3 hours so we had time to go about town. I was confused at first since it took time to process, but it definitely not a good/fun experience.
No Fitgirl is very simple. As long as you have a torrent client setup with a VPN to avoid getting a letter from your ISP, the actual repack install is just as easy as any other program.
Had the authentic girlfriend experience at my partner’s friends birthday party.
Watched people playing a clusterfuck game of Commander (MtG) that was fortunately ended due to the arrival of new guests and folks being too drunk to keep track of things.
Yeah, they’re enby/trans-androgyne, but I don’t think anyone else at the party is openly queer. They said that the group should be fine, except for one hanger-on that hopefully won’t show up anyways. It’s just a fear of the unknown I think.
Going with my partner to a birthday party for their friend. Kinda nervous. Most of this friend group (of theirs) is cis guys, but some of the friends’ girlfriends will also likely come. I don’t really care about the opinions of male strangers, but I am kinda freaking out a bit about with a fear of getting excluded/misgendered by the other women. I put together a cute/fun outfit and I know that my partner will support me regardless but I am still nervous.
One thing I’ve noticed, reading your posts over time, is that things do seem to be getting slowly better for you. In the past, things seemed incredibly bleak and painful, but over time you’ve been taking concrete steps, dwelling less on thoughts of SH/SI, and really moving towards transition. I hope things keep progressing towards something better for you, and I believe in you to do so.
Weekend with my partner has been so wonderful in so many ways. We still have half a day left before I need to drive them home and get to the lab to do some work this evening.
I am so happy that you made this step!
The rainbow one is so pretty.
Same. I like coffee, but if I don’t at least a cup in by 12p then I’ll be in a bad mood and probably get a migraine.
Apparently my partner’s queer org got kicked from their original space due to being too anti-genocide and pro-trans that it made the libs who owned that space lib out.
After I shaved the denial beard and looked at my whole face for the first time in 10 years, it also took me a few weeks to be able to find a place of acceptance. You’ll be okay.
I have also been surprised how fast my ass got phat. I gained a bit of weight over the past couple weeks (like 5-10 lbs) and now my boy jeans that fit fine just a month ago no longer fit properly.
For some reason I was worried that my partner wanted to stay in the town they were living in long term, and that we’d have to make tough choices if I got an out of state job offer, but they clarified that they also want to get out of this shithole state so that is one anxiety I can discard.
Now I just need to get a permanent position.
Unfortunately, due to tariffs, Gender 2 ™ will be in limited supply in the USA.
One thing that feels kinda weird for me is that now that I am firmly in a relationship, my impetus to seek out interaction with friends and in online spaces has diminished. I’m not ghosting or avoiding anyone, but I’m not going out of my way either.