I was planning to write a longer post for this mega and then Silksong happened so… oops?
Short version is this week is my 9th tranniversary. I don’t remember which day exactly so I like to say it was 9/11 so I’d never forget. What ultimately cracked my egg all those years ago was not the deep yearning when looking at women that I couldn’t identify as envy or the increasingly intense and umm horny dreams where I had the power to instantly change my gender. No it was that fucking faceapp gender swap filter. I just kept staring at that pic like it was a mirror into an alternate universe where I was happier and suddenly everything clicked into place. The first few years were hit or miss with a lot of other life changes happening at the time that interfered with getting properly started so in some ways it’s more like a 5 or 6 year tranniversary but whatever. 
It’s weird to say I’m almost done but I really am so close to making all the changes I wanted. I’ll never stop being trans, but I’m definitely moving from trans(itioning) femme to trans(itioned) femme and that’s quite exciting. And maybe a little wistful looking back at the journey.
Have a good week everyone!
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Thanks for the frank descriptions. I know the risks (well, i think i do. You dont know what you dont know), and my calculus isnt a “i want to do this work” but more of a “wtf else am i supposed to do” calculus. Like, everywhere i apply is fucking not even responding. Job market is shit it seems.
And like, i know theresremoved, the sex workers ive known have all been pretty frank about it. And like, im trans, the people who would fuck me would be the ones who fetishize trans women, in a violent way. The cis women who have talked about it to me have been much more… Idk, just not as fucked and violent as the trans woman ive spoken to.
Yeah. From the smallest consent boundary crossed to the most violent shit. Tricks arent friends, at least, thats what ive understood from the people ive known whove done this.
Idk, im probably off on a “well shit is this what its gonna come to?” kinda thought/feeling, and trying to rationalize it ig? Idk. Its not been a serious thought until now. And like, I have family support in the sense of “i want you to eat so ill feed you” but not in the sense of “i want you to be housed so ill give you the guest bedroom”.
And yeah to your point the term sex work is so broad that like theres no way to speak about it all in one, or directly compare. Even in the context of like escorting, someone doing survival work has a very different calculus and material conditions to someone who has an 80k/yr normal job and can leave at any time.
Like, im not wanting to fuck men, but if thats the options available to me thats whats available to me. And idk, maybe theres other options that i havent seen. Someone suggested trying to work as a legal assistant, but like, im so fucking done i have no faith in any of it anymore. Like, the world fucking sucks. I show up to an interview (back when i got interviews) and sometimes you can just see in their face that youre not getting the job. The disgust and tension in their face of knowing “you have to be civil with the removed, get thru the interview, and deny her the job.”