Do you keep telling them they’re not fat? Do you decide to just support them as they try to lose weight?
What’s your opinion on this?
Depends, how fat? Like I’d say I’m fat if I’m not fitting in my clothes and that’s probably 4kgs extra. If I had a partner I’d expect support to get to my desired weight again. Even if I’m still within an acceptable BMI with or without those extra kilos. If I was going too underweight I’d expect them to talk me back to my senses.
In this context, I think “fat” means “fatter than I’d like to be” and isn’t an objective statement. If there’s no medical reason against it, I’d volunteer to make lighter meals and/or do active things like hiking or whatever we both like. If they’re a recovering anorexic or something, I’d probably try to talk them into seeing a professional.
Exercise with them gently. Get their friends to acknowledge their svelte physique (that’s a strong maybe).
Feeling fat isn’t always about feeling/being fat, it’s about being comfortable in one’s skin and at one with those closest.
Depends on if they’re actually overweight, and how they’re handling it. If they’re wallowing in self pity or engaging in unhealthy behaviors that suggest an eating disorder, then I guess you approach the actual issue instead (i.e. the depression, the eating disorder). If they’re just trying to psych themselves up to exercise more or eat better to shed an excess 15 pounds then support and encourage them.
Depends on how debilitating it is, if its bad enough, therapy might be a useful option.
Body dysmorphia about weight might need a bit more help than you can give as an individual.
It might not meet the criteria for that, but worth consideration.
Edit: to clarify, dysmorphia like this is where the brain refuses to acknowledge the relatively objective reality of a “normal” weight.
It’s often one of the underlying causes of bulimia/anorexia and the converse.
Do what it takes to get them to a doctor and let them handle it. For example: "I want to support you, but I am no expert. Let’s see a nutrition specialist to see what the best course of action is. Personally, I think you are not too fat, but if there is something you want to change, let’s do it right.
