Lvxferre [he/him]

For me it’s both, I guess?

Before the bullshit threshold I’m calmly reading what the liberal says, and calmly explaining stuff like:

• why capitalism won’t fix itself
• why it’s a bad idea to give the Nazi a voice, Weimar Republic style
• why all this “my country” thing is inane, and why we should be identifying ourselves first and foremost as human beings
• why and how gender and sex are different things

But as the liberal keeps babbling, and enters the bullshit threshold, my attitude suddenly flips to something like “aaaah, cut off the crap! I already explained this, dammit. Do you need to be spoonfed basic [reading comprehension | reasoning]???”

I don’t typically use the word “bootlicker” in English, but in Portuguese I do use “pelego” (kind of the same thing) a fair bit.

A kingdom always seeking expansion. Stop expanding into my stale bread dammit!

TL;DR: BPR CSPR (charged situation-provoked reaction). OP was gatekeeping a wee bit but this was definitively not worth a permaban, at most a “chill your head!” 1d ban. OP being queer and the issue happening outside Blåhaj are also relevant.

Sorry in advance for the WORDS, WORDS, WORDS.

Also, I’m not queer. Or an instance owner. I’m open to hear about things that I got wrong. I’m judging things here because it’s how this comm works.

I don’t disagree with the core of what you’re saying, it’s sensible stuff:

• it is completely fine to use they/them as a default; it is not misgendering
• some people overreact to what, contextually, clearly conveys “I don’t know your gender”
• queers on the verge of being hunted is way, way more serious than pronouns

100% agree with the above. But even then, check your own comment:

This attitude drives me fucking nuts as a millennial who had to fight the real fights for LGBTQ acceptance only for the younger generation to get their panties in a twist for inadvertently being called by the “wrong” (gender neutral) pronoun.

Queers are on the verge of being hunted and exterminated in the US and y’all are pissy over being called a gender neutral pronoun by someone who doesn’t know you?

For fucks sake this is why the heteros hate us. Younger queers need faux outrage to feel important. Now the real threats are back on the horizon. Thanks to young out of touch activists caring more about pronouns than our physical safety and well-being.

You’re arbitrarily drawing a line and saying “up to this point, it is not an important matter. Past that point, it is”. Well… this is gatekeeping! Cat shit might not be as serious of a problem as elephant shit, but both are still shit, you know?

Then there’s the matter of this happening outside Blåhaj. I get why the admins there ban people for activity outside their own instance: the instance is home to extremely marginalised groups, that requires getting rid of bad faith actors (haters, chasers…) even before they set their feet there.

So for example. Let’s say that I (cis, hetero) said something that can be understood as bigotry. It would be only sensible if Blahaj banned me on the spot - better safe than sorry, right?

…however that clearly does not apply to you - even if not trans you’re gender-diverse. (I always check profiles before judging people.) Blahaj is supposed to be inviting to people like you. It shifts the issue from “some cis hetero got banned by mistake” to “someone who should feel safe in that instance got banned by mistake”. Plus what you’re saying isn’t even bigoted, it’s simply gatekeeping.

Based on all of that I think that some intervention from the Blahaj admins would be sensible, even if this happened outside their “turf”, but they went a bit too far. [/two cents]