Frustrating.
The rate at which I absorb information is disgusting. Yes please finish your sentence I already have a response why are you taking so long. How did I learn that? I picked up the manual and did it. Developing new skills? Learning Rust right now and its going well, failed out of highschool because I learned too easily and didn’t need the homework to learn (so it didn’t get done).
It comes with imposter syndrome: I knew the problem, I had the pattern figured out, why did I still fuck everything up (plot twist I probably didn’t).
It comes with a superiority complex: I learned this in 10 minutes from looking at a Sci Journal, why has it been hours and yallvstill don’t get it? 🙄
It comes with accidentally hurting people: frequently I say things thinking something hould be obvious when it is not, while unintended, it often hurts my partner who is usually in the line of fire when I let some dumb shit outta my mouth and insult someone’s intelligence.
Anyway I hate it I’d rather be dumbsauce ignorance is bliss
I thought I had ADHD but RFKjr says I just need discipline, maybe I should have listened to my parents about needing discipline when I was a teen. I bet lack of discipline is why I excel in everything I do but don’t seem to do anything including things I like. Definitely, it’s lack of discipline keeping me from journaling and playing tetris or practicing guitar. It’s definitely lack of discipline that explains why I can never keep my house clean for more than a day, or why trash nests seemingly spawn around me. It’s definitely lack of discipline that makes me sit in the bathroom, next to the already running shower, trying to build up the nerve to endure the state change and just get in the shower.
It’s discipline right? Right? Because if it isn’t I’m gonna need a lot of apologies from all the folks who said it was along the way. And some fucking adderall.