I’ll go first…after 10 years of speculating in the market (read: gambling in high risk assets) I realized I shouldn’t ever touch a brokerage account in my lifetime. A monkey would have made better choices than I did. Greed has altered the course of life many times over. I am at an age where I may recover from my actions over the decades, but it has taken its toll. I am frugal and have a good head on me, but having such impulsivity in financial instruments was not how I envisioned my adulthood. Its a bitter pill to swallow, since money is livelihood of my family, but I need to “invest” all I have into relationships, meaningful moments, and fulfilling hobbies.
The biggest pill was that I am not intelligent. I was just studious and invested enough time to pass exams. People not doing what they should do is not them being stupid but me not grasping the full picture.
The second biggest pill that I am still swallowing is that I am not a good person. I try to behave in a good way, but it’s manipulative and not authentic. People don’t like goodness if it doesn’t come from the heart.
You sound like a very interesting person if I may say so (: Love me some folks who were brave enough to have faced these gigantic pillbottles.
That trauma is not an identity and if I want to grow as a person I have to resolve that trauma and let go of the past.
Yes… quitting all your jobs and becoming homeless is much better then getting abused 80 hours a week by your 3 employers
But there can be a better way.
Just because I’ve been in relationships for years doesn’t mean I’m any good at them 😬
I’m a bitter, angry, mfer and I need to chill out sometimes
Same here. I lose my temper too easily then I get back to normal quickly and wonder why I was so upset.
I gotta spend less time on lemmy
deleted by creator
The realization of how truely alone I am when everything started collapsing after our house was sold and how my parents who supposedly were suppose to love me, don’t love me and how I do have daddy issues because of this and I am not exactly as strong mentally as I thought of myself to be.
I need to get a grip when driving and not let others upset me so easily.
Stay in the basement. No driving required.
7Hey fellow road rager! I too suffer from this aillment while knowing at the same time that it could be life threatening if I cross paths with an armed short fused a$$hole. I live in a very high traffic city with stuff to do on both sides of it, taking my kid to some classes results in a two hour commute and then two hours back home. Not easy and it makes me want to light my hair on fire sooooo me and my kid play the “maybe” game:
Maybe that guy cut me off because he is pooping in his pants (Kid laughs and it Takes the edge of me bursting into flames)
Maybe that lady trying to pass me in a not so nice way is late for her flight to (insert whatever place you/your kid think of and talk about what things you’d like to do there. While in Italy, for example, we thought about asking for a pizza with pineapple on it and putting a clown wig on the David)
I could go on and on (I won’t) but the main thing is to redirect my anger as energy to somewhere else.
I find it amusing when I do it with my kid because it helps us connect while spending time together. When I am by myself I play it too, but the NSFW version: This guy is tailgating me because he cannot wait to get pegg3d when he gets home. Etc etc. I chuckle for a bit and let it pass. Not kink shaming anyone at all.
Maybe I am a bit insane but this has helped me tremendously.
I cannot sing.
So what? Sing all you want. Take a big fart in every kareoke bar you visit. Who cares?
Even in the shower?
I emit a series of sounds that would be considered a crime by every advanced civilization.
Then come to America, friend!
I dissociate and fawn pretty much constantly in most social situations. I do not feel in control. What most people know me as is a bunch of trauma responses. I feel like I’m watching myself have conversations and making “decisions” from another room.
It took me a long time to admit this to myself.
Stop having social situations by staying in the basement. All better!
I have this too, I have some friends that I can be myself with and some other people that my trauma response just kicks in and I become non confrontational people pleaser. Im starting to notice it more and trying to not do it.
My ADD is far worse than I thought and I should have noticed that decades ago.
Intelligence and depression go hand-in-hand. Thank God for drugs.
My brother is so smart he can rationalize his way out of seeking help for his chronic depression. I once told him about a FREE depression meds trial and he said “I don’t want to be artificially happy.” I responded “So you’d rather be naturally miserable?”
The human race is a constant disappointment
That no matter how often people said it as a kid, I’m not capable of anything I put my mind to. I’m not smart, I’m very very mediocre at best, and my interests don’t align with my capabilities so my only options for work are things I don’t generally want to do.
I only really had 2 goals in life, a third developed later, and I’ve failed at all if them. I wanted to be in a loving relationship (going on 40 and have been single for the last decade), to not be the person who hates going to their job every day, and eventually I started wanting to own a home because I found that I need space for the hobbies I enjoyed. It’s a Sinatra song right, 0 out of 3 ain’t bad? Something like that… Lol
I grew being told I was smart. And to be fair, I am. I always grasped things quick and got through school without much effort.
But what it really ended up being was undiagnosed ADHD.
But when I had to really focus and stick with something for an extended period of time I always struggled. Especially when I lost the structure of being forced to go to school every day.
Im 35 this year and I never expected to be able to hold down a relationship, I had flings but nothing stuck. It wasn’t until other things in life going that I rekindled a missed connection from years past. It was only 2 years ago and now she and her daughter live with me.
As for hobbies, I really wish there was a better way to do it than owning all my own stuff. Communal woodshops and auto shops that were more easily accessible. Then hacker spaces for the more niche things. But I know that’s a resource that’s more accessible around cities.
Ugh, I hate the lie we’ve promoted for decades that “you can be anything!” and “you’re all special!”. No, we can’t all be anything we want. I’ll never be a rock star, I’ll never be a great athlete, etc. And we aren’t all special, we are more alike than we may care to admit.
Your specific issues may be due to unrealistic expectations. Do you hate jobs in general due to being on a schedule all the time? Should you have your own business? Look at what you choose in other people, what you look for may need to change since it has a bad track record. Look at your own behavior too, are you self sabotaging? Do you have bad traits like a short temper? As far as a house that has so many variables like where you live may just be too expensive, need to look harder for smaller and older homes in your price range, etc.
As far as the job goes, I just meant that my interests are more aligned with scientific research/discovery but that I’m in no way shape or form a “scientist.” I’m nowhere near smart enough for that. Other than that I do like fixing things, but I hate driving and I need a schedule. I hated being a service technician never knowing when the day would be over and having to get a call once I got home to go back out.
For the house, it’s 100% the area… Houses that are basically twice burned down, glorified sheds, once selling for $60k USD back in 2016 are now $250k+ it’s absolute insanity.
Are you qualified to be a technical assistant? You could get involved in a science oriented environment without, say, having a degree in a scientific field. It could be pharmacology, etc.
I’m not sure if I am qualified to do that, but I’d have to look into it. I appreciate the suggestions! Certainly would beat the dead end factory job I have now lol
I’m a lazy follower who never figured out who I was, so I just followed the path of least resistance. As a result, I don’t like myself very much and cope with sarcasm and wit.
