i know an independent cat rescue that will take injured animals and never euthanize due to buddhist principals. you would not believe the depth of suffering i have seen.

Let me share my personal story. Trigger warning for anybody reading this, there’s a lot of details.

My spouse and I had a beloved cat who was amazing. Rescued her as a kitten, the runt of her litter. She was born sickly and got worse for a while, we thought she wouldn’t make it for several weeks.

But we nursed her back to health and she started to thrive. She never got big, even fully grown, she was 6.5 lbs. Most people thought she was still a kitten, but she had 60 lbs of attitude lol.

She was a wonderful cat, full of life, playful, fierce, super smart, my spouse and I were totally in love with her.

Then one day, she stopped eating and started acting really lethargic. We went through all the typical potential causes. Tooth pain, upset stomach, constipation, UTI, etc.

Took her to the vet several times. After almost 2 weeks of us barely able to get her to eat more than a few bites of her usual favorite treats per day, we had them scan her for potential blockages or other stomach issues.

Vet came back with the results, it was cancer, her entire abdomen was filled with large tumors. 100% terminal, the vet said that there was no way to remove it all without killing her from the internal trauma because the cancer had spread so far and was completely surrounding many of her organs.

We were absolutely devastated. She was only about 3 and a half years old. The vet said it was just bad luck, it was rare to see this kind of cancer in a young otherwise healthy cat, but it did sometimes happen.

Even still, we asked about chemotherapy, (yes they do that for pets sometimes). The vet said that at best, it would only give us 1-3 more months if we were lucky, and she would be drugged up so much that she would basically be in a state of dillusion the whole time. Plus it would have cost between $4,000- and $8,000. Which was far beyond anything we could afford.

My spouse and I went home, cried our eyes out for the next 2 days, and talked about end of life care. Our primary vet had given us a pamphlet about in-home euthanasia. They come to your home, you can lay down and cuddle with your pet, play music or talk to them. The vet administers a shot, and after about 10-15 minutes, they fall asleep and then…they’re gone.

We chose that option and it was as positive of an experience as it can be, when doing something so sad.

We laid down on both sides of her, placed her on her favorite blanket, and just gently pet her, kissed her, and quietly told her what a brave girl she was and how much we loved her. Our vet was super calm and respectful. After she administered the shot, she let us be with her, and checked her pulse every 5 minutes or so. After the third time, she quietly told us, “Alright, she’s passed. Take all the time you need. When you’re ready, I’ll take her back with me.”

The vet handled the cremation and a week or two later my spouse and I got our cat’s ashes delivered to us in a little urn, with a clipping of her hair and a little paw print in clay. There was a hand-written note from the vet with her condolences, signed by a bunch of the vet techs, it was very sweet.

It’s a brutally hard choice to make, but I think it’s the right one. Our cat was in so much pain, she was malnourished, exhausted, dehydrated, she had lost all the joy that a healthy life provided her. Looking into her eyes and seeing her in so much pain, that’s what convinced me and my spouse to do it. I think it would have been selfish for us to keep her alive in that state waiting for her to die “naturally” or forcing a massive cocktail of drugs into her just so we could get a few more days or weeks with her.

I don’t condemn people for putting it off, I get it, it was one of the hardest decicions I’ve had to make as an adult. I wept like a baby before and after it for many days. If you haven’t seen it before, I can’t describe it. But there is a certain “look” an animal gets when it’s near the end. They know, they are smart, they have a soul of some kind I think, they can sense it. As somebody who is an animal lover and has had pets all my life, you learn what it looks like. It’s a look of pain and pleading, a look that says, “I’m in pain, and I’m tired, it’s time for me to go.”

Some people say that pets can’t tell you if they want to be done, but I think they can, it’s that look in their eyes of desperation, and when you’re my age and you’ve had to say goodbye to numerous pets over the years, you learn what it looks like.

I waited too long for my little lady, she didn’t need to suffer as long as she did. It sucks either way.

It’s hard as hell, but for me it comes down to this: we have to decide if they’re suffering so much that death would be a relief for them. Since we don’t have a common language, all we can do is go by what other signs and indicators are available. I don’t entirely trust veterinarians to make that decision, because in the past it has seemed to me that they tend to err on the side of euthanasia.

I’ve done it both ways. Either way, it hurts.

It’s too case by case to make a sweeping statement. Sometimes a pet’s quality of life is extremely bad, sometimes an animal’s instincts will tell it to stop eating, sometimes you could have an old pet that does that and think that they’re going but then it turns out they have a totally treatable kidney issue and go on to live five more years after two weeks of pills. That last one happened to me with my thirteen year old cat who went on to live until eighteen.

I wouldn’t put down an animal unless they were suffering and an expert told me there was no way out of it - but of course that’s easy to say in isolation, when in the real world vet visits cost money. I guess what I’m saying is that I wouldn’t judge someone on the decision they made for their pet unless it seemed that they were acting without compassion and didn’t consider all alternatives.

All animals want to keep living, that’s literally why animals evolved brains in the first place, to keep their bodies alive for as long as possible. How can you, who is not the pet, say for sure they would prefer to die than keep living? You can’t ask them, and you can’t get in their mind to determine how much they still appreciate being alive. Even the oldest, sickest pet will still make an effort to keep themselves alive however they can: eating, drinking water, moving out of the way of danger, etc. As far as I know, no animal (at least the animals we keep as pets) have an instinct to just give up and stop going through the motions of life past a certain age.

While it’s not an instinct, I’ve known friends and family members who have had dogs and cats who stopped putting in the effort to eat and drink at the very end. At that stage, you know that it’s over…

I’ve known pets that had lost their owners and just stopped eating. They got super depressed, lost the will to go on, and let themselves slip away.

I had to put my dog down a few years ago. He was in late stages of kidney failure. He probably wasn’t going to live more than a few more days anyway. I spent the entire day with him, gave him everything he could want.

It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. Even thinking about him years later still brings me to major tears.

I don’t think you can decide in the abstract and I don’t think there is a one-size-fits all answer. Every pet’s (and person’s) decline is different. You may get to a point where you have to make a decision, but the specifics of that point are always different, and being in the situation is not the same as trying to imagine it.

I think that both putting your pet down and not doing so must be an honest consideration.

As their caretaker, you can empathize with them the most. Imagine what you would want in their situation, and do it. You have the ability to cognize this - they do not.

There are humane services that will come to your home so they don’t even have to leave a familiar environment. But sometimes, your buddy still has joy in life, even though he’s all wobbly.

…in the end, the truth is that it’s a judgment call, and you do the best you can - and make your choices in a way that, if they were there in your head with you, and could understand your choices, they would love you for it, and that you can love yourself for.

Animals cannot tell you how much pain they are in. Their last days can be absolutely horrific. You have the power to spare them perfectly useless suffering.

Vets strongly advise: better a week too soon than a day too late. Because that last day is unnecessary; it’s there because you couldn’t stomach the decision, not because it gave your pet anything meaningful.

You will know when it comes. When your pet is dying from some stupid cancer and you did everything already and what’s coming is nothing but pain, no hope, no relief, no nothing but suffering. You will make the right decision. And have someone come over, while you make their last meal something amazing, and they are eating a snack while they still have appetite to be happy about that and ignore the little pinch in the leg that brings the last sleep.

And you will grieve in ways you didn’t know you could, but it will still have been right because there is no sacred point scored from letting your lil pup die a few days later in agony you could have prevented but chose not to.

Don’t listen to anyone trying to shame you into agreeing with their view about something so profound. You are entitled to your own philosophy on the matter.

I can’t sit my pets down and explain to them what chemo is or that they’re going to have an invasive surgery and may get better afterwards. All they know is that they love me, but they’re in pain. You may question it for a long time afterwards, but if they’re miserable and don’t understand why then keeping them around is more for your benefit than theirs.

I’ve spent way too much money getting care for a sick, young cat because I knew the pain would be temporary and they could get back to their bonded half and recover quickly and I’ve had to put down a dog that could have lived a few more years because their dementia had become so bad they were confused and lost constantly, even when in the same room as I was.

Compassion and love are always important, but you can’t explain to them why they’re in pain, only save them from needless suffering.

Looking at other comments I will point out one thing nobody mentioned so far: keeping an old per alive is not always cheap.
You have to calculate the cruel numbers against the gain or loss also.
You could give an other neglected - abandoned pet a new life, instead of making your loved one to slowly expire.
Or I do not wish the situation on anyone, but pet meds vs human food can come into play too.

Do for your pets what you think you’d want for yourself, sans religious and societal opinions influencing your choice.

Cats will readily voluntarily starve themselves to death if their food isn’t up to their standards.