I’ve met this person and we texted for a while for a couple of weeks. I even asked if we could go out on our own to have a coffee together, and she accepted, but asked for some time to sort things out on her life (I know that she was studying for a difficult selection for a public position. Plus, she’s a single mom). But I realized that I was starting and maintaining our interactions every single time. So I decided to give her some space, just to see if she would talk back to me. A day became a week, which became a month, and no sign of her. Did I ghosted her inadvertently, or she wasn’t interested in the first place, or she’s probably having too much happening in her life and I should be more supportive?
As a parent with a demanding job, I will get so distracted with life that I forget to reach back out. I even do it with family from time to time. I feel so bad that my brother reaches out to me more than I do to him.
I would just send a short message saying something supportive and non-judgmental. Like, “sorry I haven’t reach out lately, things got busy (with my job/schoool/or whatever you do), just wanted to check and see how you are doing.” Or something along those lines, to put the onus on you and easy her feelings if she does feel bad about not messaging you first. I would not immediately ask her to meet again. Just see if you can get the conversation going.
Most relationships I’ve had in my life, both platonic and sexual, just sort of ‘clicked.’ I never found myself wondering about what was going on, most effort was recipricated without much thought. I would just move on. She directly communicated she needed space, she’s not reaching out - I think the writing is on the wall.
This is a hard one and I feel it needs more context, at least for me to give advice on it. My problem is that she was reasonable in her request for space to sort things out, and I think you’re reading into that too much possibly.
What I’d say is, if you think your relationship is established enough to do so, is just ask her. I don’t think it would be “creepy” if you reached out and were like “hey haven’t heard from you in a while” sort of thing. You’re leaving yourself open to guessing and that can often be unhealthy.
nah, i’m ok with moving on.
Totally fair, homie. I hope you didn’t take my comment as any sort of criticism of you, that wasn’t my intention but rereading my comment and I can see how that might have come across.
