• miz [any, any]@hexbear.net
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    11 days ago

    hello and thank you for contacting Lockheed Martin customer support. if you are currently flying a plane, press 1. if you are flying a helicopter, press—

    [beep] 1

    if the plane is currently on fire, press 1. if the plane has decapitated you upon eject, press 2. if your instruments are not working properly due to rain, press 3. if your landing gear will not retract fully, press 4. if gremlins—

    [beep] 4

    unfortunately, all agents are currently assisting other pilots. please hold, and remember that your satisfaction is Lockheed Martin’s highest priority.