“is that ham processed? If it’s processed I don’t want it”
Ma’am, that is an eleven pound whole slab of deli ham. It has no bones, fat, or connective tissue. It is an amalgamation of the meat of several pigs, emulsified, liquefied, strained, and ultimately inexorably joined in an unholy meat obelisk. God had no hand in the creation of this abhorrence. The fact that this ham monolith exists proves that God is either impotent to alter His universe or ignorant to the horrors taking place in his kingdom. This prism of pork is more than deli meat. It is a physical declaration of mankind’s contempt for the natural order. It is hubris manifest. We also have a lower sodium variety if you would prefer that.
If we wanna be really pedantic, only things comprised of atoms are chemicals. So subatomic particles, antimatter, and hypothetical things like dark matter and tachyons aren’t chemicals.
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I read this in Patton Oswalt’s voice
I’m partial to the Jeaney Collects voiceover version
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PJt64x3aEv8
I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:
i’m vegan #1
“Literally EVERYTHING IN THE UNIVERSE is made of chemicals!” *
(* as far as we know)
If we wanna be really pedantic, only things comprised of atoms are chemicals. So subatomic particles, antimatter, and hypothetical things like dark matter and tachyons aren’t chemicals.
I’m on the c food diet, I only eat things that move at relativistic speeds.
There’s a metric fuck ton of type 2 vegans and it’s exhausting.