Hello everyone, I’ll be hosting the megathread while un_mask_me is out.
I completely forgot I had to post it until just now.
As always, we ask that in order to participate in the weekly megathread, one self-identifies as some form of disabled, which is broadly defined in the community sidebar:
“Disability” is an umbrella term which encompasses physical disabilities, emotional/psychiatric disabilities, neurodivergence, intellectual/developmental disabilities, sensory disabilities, invisible disabilities, and more. You do not have to have an official diagnosis to consider yourself disabled.
Mask up, love one another, and stay alive for one more week.
Not doing so great, but friends and family are also having a hard go of it too, so I feel like I can’t say anything. My best friend in the whole world hasn’t texted back in close to a month, and I’m a little worried. Usually they don’t text when they’re having a hard time or really busy, which is itself a hard time. So I don’t want to bother them. I live with parents and sibling, and my mom is having a really hard time at work; things have been getting busier and harder lately and show no signs of getting better. Dad works a job he hates and works way more than he has to and decides that he can’t talk about this with anybody, so he’s always stressed and hard to talk to. With my sibling, I just don’t feel comfortable talking with them about my mental health concerns in that way. I can empathize or tell stories, but I don’t like going to them with my problems. Maybe it’s just stupid pride that I’m the eldest and should be the strong one or some shit. Also they’re moving out in a year or so, so I’d be losing that support soon anyway.
In any case, I constantly feel like dying and the main thing that keeps me from doing it is just fear it’ll be painful. My brain has always been the part of me of which I am proudest. Then I developed schizophrenia in high school, and I managed to find a way to be proud of myself with that. Then my cognitive abilities began declining. Now it feels like everyone is distancing themselves from me. I feel all alone and in pain. So here I am, screaming into the void. People here are kind, but there’s no substitute for in-person contact with people you know. Or even i direct contact with people you know. And I know people here are also suffering, so it’s probably hypocritical of me to spare my friends and family and not y’all, but if I piss off some of you, that’s hopefully a smaller loss to me than hurting one of them. I dunno. Sorry if I did offend anyone, I sincerely don’t mean to or want to.
I’ll chime in and say that things are noticeably worse then a decade and even five years ago. I notice this on a is itinterpersonal level and by the state of things in the imperial core. People seem to be burnt out and ground down without any real reprieve. Recreation and hobbies are barely keeping people sane while media and the spectacle are seemingly losing their tranquilizing power. Not completely but you can notice the cracks appear and the façade drop here and there. The unsustainability of capitalism is becoming hard to ignore even for tuned out and “not political” people. In simple terms, shits getting hard out there for us all comrade.
Putting your IRL community first is not an offense it’s what you should be doing in the first place so don’t worry about us comrade. Just don’t forget what Mao said and always combat liberalism wherever it appears lol
Yes, the fear of the pain is all that’s stopping me too. I made an attempt a while back and ended up in intensive care for 5 days, VERY painful. It’s actually a really hard thing to do successfully.
I know it’s not the same thing as real life, but we’re all here to listen. And most of us are alone and in pain too, so we understand, at least.
I’m so sorry you’re in that boat too. Life under capitalism is miserable; I hope we can throw off these chains in our lifetime and maybe we can see a glimpse of something better. May be a pipe dream, but one can hope.