Not my nails, obvs.
Some (beginner-focused) tips for painting your nails:
Lighter colors and solid colors are easier to work with. Pick a good color or few, you don’t need to start too fancy.
Don’t shake nail polish, that can mess it up. Roll it slowly if you ever need to mix.
Don’t just do the coloration and call it a day, put clear nail polish on first, and put it over the color. That will protect your nails.
Consider getting nail polish remover when you get your nail polish, mistakes are easy.
Put your nails down on a flat surface, clean your nails (maybe with that nail polish remover?), and apply the clear base coat (doesn’t need to be perfect). Stroke from the base of the nail to the top, until the nail is covered. It might get on your skin, that’s normal, anything on your skin can be dealt with at the end. Let it dry, like you would any other kind of base coat.
Now that it’s dry, do like what you did with your clear polish for colors. Base to tip, going from the center outwards. If you can still see through after it’s covered, wait for it to dry a little, then do another layer.
Then apply your top coat to make smooth, shiny, and somewhat protected painted nails. Wait for it all to dry (very important), which could as long as normal working hours + commute. Don’t mess it up. If you do, you might have to restart on some nails.
Now that it’s dry the polish on your skin should act sorta like glue, where you can just peel it off, but if it’s stubborn you could use a cotton swab with nail polish remover to carefully remove it (don’t let it touch your nails!).
Now you should have nice smooth nails.
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cw: SI
i feel so numb i barely want to move and type this. i have to leave for work in an hour and i can’t stop thinking about putting a gun in my mouth and giving it a big sloppy blowjob just to feel something. not even pulling the trigger or even loading it, just sticking a firearm into my mouth and giving it oral sex as if it were a phallus just to fucking feel something. why the fuck am i still single. why the fuck does every attempt at romance fail. i can’t keep track of the number of people i’ve fallen for romantically and literally no one has ever reciprocated. there are poly trans women my age who have more partners than fingers and i can’t find one single person who would ever think to themselves “wow EstraDoll is pretty cute I’d date him” so i might as well give oral sex to a firearm and fantasize about ending my miserable fucking existence because no one else is desperate enough to touch me with a 10 foot pole
Mood, I think my main thing is I’ve just been attracted to unavailable people hence why I’ve been alone so long. It does sour my mood sometimes being around happy couples and third wheeling if I’m being real or being an even wheel because poly friends. I try not to think about it since I’m prone to spiraling and this isn’t something I can think my way out of so
That’s rough. I hope things change for you. I’m poly also and I’ve not had a lot of luck/success with dating in my life. It can be really demoralizing.
spoiler
Maybe the reason why I like kicking knives and using them to eat food is because I too think of ending myself