I just feel like: if my life isn’t where I wanted it to be by this point, why should I be courteous to others. There’s no reciprocity from them anyways. All I do is live this rut of go work, home and sleep. I know nobody nearby who I can relate to. It drives me crazy how I haven’t met any of these milestones for career, family, or friends. I’m just by myself, screaming explitives into a digital void.
I just don’t like anybody because of that. I don’t like my coworkers and their simple Maga brains, I don’t like my rural locality and it’s dependency on service work for the elderly. I don’t like any of the workers in those services because of how cowed they are and how short they sell themselves. Part of me thinks they deserve their misery for putting up with it all the time. I don’t like the conservative culture of my area and how it limits who I can relate to on a personal level. All this just makes me not like people in general and I feel myself becoming more embittered these days. And even if was more amenable like I used to be, experience has told me that people still wouldn’t want to bother with me anyways. Idk, these days I have such a jaded view of everyone around me.
I’m not saying that I personally believe students are the revolutionary subject of communism, I’m just stating what the situation for organizing has looked like in this country since the 60s. You can’t call a sober observation petite bourgeois for stating that. Ideally, the whole damn movement should come from the workers who run the whole damn economy by coming together to plan their common goals for the whole of the society that they belong to. I don’t really know what the revolutionary subject is or if there’s still even one because again, material conditions have changed raidcally from the last century.
We could potentially even be on the brink of mass swaths of the population further having being made redundant depending on whether the AI thing is a serious game changer for the capitalist or just another money hole the shovel QE funds into. Imagine the wrench that will throw into the thesis of the worker as revolutionary subject when even more of them are separated from participating in production. What then? Good Marxist theory has to be a living tradition that studies and analyzes the evolving paradigm of political economy that we live under. Frankly, it’s that aversion to that and the dogmatic reverence for dead Leninist movements that makes me so averse to joining any organization. People like that aren’t living in reality.
Youre correctly looking at the link between the intelligentsia and the left, but instead of seeing it as an issue youre seeing it as fact. People go to college, have the opportunity and environment to learn about this stuff, and then enter the left; unfortunately with their class position intact. Hence the reason why the left is all college educated upper middle strata and why the means of life create a petty bourgeois ideology that vacillates and makes it weak.
Theres a whole merry go round of union staffers and non profit workers who do nothing to create the conditions of struggle that constitute the left. This exact current reason is why all the left from the New Communist Movement of the 70s and 80s liquidated into adventurism or the democrat party. They were all students who instead of transforming the movement into a working class one never challenged their class conditions and followed the spontaneous ideology of their strata.
I dont have optimism because i dont need it, because i see the sections of our society that are revolutionary and i organize in them. Your life is miserable and you dont see a way out, because youre accurately assessing the dead end of the strata and class around you. Im telling you if you can figure out how to change the political economy of your life, you will be proud of yourself and happy to be a communist in this country. Youre smart and picking up on the right things - ive met a lot of leftists that havent picked up on half of what youve mentioned - and i want you in this movement, but our social being conditions our social consciouseness and you will have to change the political economy of your life if you want to be happy. I can see how you can be happy, and i hope you are able to figure it out too.