I went somewhere recently where all the customer service folks exclusively used “friend” for me, even though afaik I’ve never met a single one of them before. I heard them ma’am/sir at least some other people who looked a bit more conformist - I only screamed that you don’t need to look enby to be enby inside, not out loud.
It felt a little odd to be called friend by people I didn’t know, and isn’t “professional” in the same way so maybe doesn’t fit what you’re looking for, but it still felt a hell of a lot better than being gendered.
There was one person who would use “boss”, which is perhaps more “professional” than friend, but that makes me feel icky in different ways.
Most of all, I want people to just drop the “professional address” with me, but I get that it’s hammered into people in customer service that they absolutely must use some form of it.
I call anyone but my boss ‘boss’ or ‘chief’ at work. Its a kitchen so telling people youre behind them or asking for times on things or whatever comes up a lot so I have a wide variety of generic terms for a person in several languages in rotation just cause saying the same thing over and over sucks
I think when you use one of those words that refers to an unbalanced power dynamic it can make people feel a variety of ways you don’t necessarily intend.
I’m thinking in particular about a guy I worked with who might have felt it highlighted our age difference, or that he inferred I saw his behavior as domineering and “bossy,” or he might have been labor-pilled cuz if we all hate the bosses, it’s not a very endearing term to use.
I think when you use one of those words that refers to an unbalanced power dynamic it can make people feel a variety of ways you don’t necessarily intend.
The context I was talking about was as a customer, being called boss by someone in customer service, so much as I didn’t want there to be a power dynamic, there is one, and that’s what made it feel icky to me.
I went somewhere recently where all the customer service folks exclusively used “friend” for me, even though afaik I’ve never met a single one of them before. I heard them ma’am/sir at least some other people who looked a bit more conformist - I only screamed that you don’t need to look enby to be enby inside, not out loud.
It felt a little odd to be called friend by people I didn’t know, and isn’t “professional” in the same way so maybe doesn’t fit what you’re looking for, but it still felt a hell of a lot better than being gendered.
There was one person who would use “boss”, which is perhaps more “professional” than friend, but that makes me feel icky in different ways.
Most of all, I want people to just drop the “professional address” with me, but I get that it’s hammered into people in customer service that they absolutely must use some form of it.
I call anyone but my boss ‘boss’ or ‘chief’ at work. Its a kitchen so telling people youre behind them or asking for times on things or whatever comes up a lot so I have a wide variety of generic terms for a person in several languages in rotation just cause saying the same thing over and over sucks
Having a peer use boss wouldn’t be icky in the same way to me.
I’ve had co-workers who absolutely hated it.
I think when you use one of those words that refers to an unbalanced power dynamic it can make people feel a variety of ways you don’t necessarily intend.
I’m thinking in particular about a guy I worked with who might have felt it highlighted our age difference, or that he inferred I saw his behavior as domineering and “bossy,” or he might have been labor-pilled cuz if we all hate the bosses, it’s not a very endearing term to use.
Could also come across as sarcastically demeaning
What way is this?
@JustSo@hexbear.net nailed it:
The context I was talking about was as a customer, being called boss by someone in customer service, so much as I didn’t want there to be a power dynamic, there is one, and that’s what made it feel icky to me.
That’s fair. In kitchens acting professional isnt a thing so calling someone Boss doesnt carry any connotations if they arent your boss.
“My friend,” abbreviated “MF”
something, something, “professional”