Children with multiple long-term health issues undergo severe emotional stress at the same time as they are trying to cope with the physical challenges of their condition, a study has found.
A lot of healthy people never seem to make that connection. My situation is so awful (chronic illness and pain, unable to hold down a job because of it and poverty) I tried to take my own life and ended up in intensive care for 5 days. Not only were people not sympathetic, they treated me like shit. Even the nurses. They were kind and chatty to all the other patients on the ward, and went out of their way to make them comfortable. But I was in there through my own fault, through attempting something people disapprove of, so they ignored me, spoke harshly when they had to speak to me, scolded me for what I’d done and gave me the bare minimum of help they had to. And even worse, given no privacy, they would draw the curtains for the other patients when the doctors did their rounds and speak quietly about their conditions but for me the doctors just treated me with the curtains open and loudly discussed my issues in front of everyone, I had to beg them to close the curtains. And they brought a whole class of students to observe me and talked about my issues in front of them all without my consent. They just tried to punish me non-stop for what I’d done. No interest at all in what had driven me to it.
On being discharged I was then scolded and shunned, told to “just try and cheer up!” and “How could you do that? Don’t you think of anyone but yourself?” Did any of these people offer any help to alleviate my situation? No, of course not. Just judgment. And comments like “the woman in this news article is much worse off than you with a worse condition and look how happy she is, she’s grateful to be alive. Why can’t you be more like her?”
Not only were people not sympathetic, they treated me like shit.
And one of the biggest reasons for this is that christianity is so culturally interwoven in western (especiallyin the US) society, so much that even your average non-believer would share a good part of christianity beliefs, with “suicide is a sin” being a pretty universal one. Though some denominations disagree, but more often than not in my experience your average evangelical does believe that, and so your average non-religious person believes that to on some level.
Im sorry comrade. I can’t say I understand because I’m not experiencing it first hand, but I can empathize.
My partner is in the midst of a diagnosis for an autoimmune disease. She’s spent the last 3 years dealing with unexplainable symptoms, having doctors doubt her because of her age, friends and family minimize her situation and complain about accommodating us. It’s so mentally and emotionally exhausting having to explain ourselves at every turn, even to the people who should just provide unconditional support.
People really can’t or won’t make the connection. Even if they do, they find a way to be ignorant and try to explain it away so that they don’t need to adjust their own behavior or expectations.
Sorry to hear that. It’s very common, especially with female patients. It took them three and a half years to diagnose my cancer because they refused to do any tests. They said I was “too young for it to be anything serious,” then when the symptoms didn’t resolve, diagnosed me with depression and gave me antidepressants and when those didn’t work said I was a hypochondriac. And people I know, at first were shocked by my diagnosis, but as time wore on and the shock wore off, they got bored of my problems and drifted away, leaving me with no support.
they find a way to be ignorant and try to explain it away so that they don’t need to adjust their own behavior or expectations.
I’d never thought about it like this before, but that does make a lot of sense.
A lot of healthy people never seem to make that connection. My situation is so awful (chronic illness and pain, unable to hold down a job because of it and poverty) I tried to take my own life and ended up in intensive care for 5 days. Not only were people not sympathetic, they treated me like shit. Even the nurses. They were kind and chatty to all the other patients on the ward, and went out of their way to make them comfortable. But I was in there through my own fault, through attempting something people disapprove of, so they ignored me, spoke harshly when they had to speak to me, scolded me for what I’d done and gave me the bare minimum of help they had to. And even worse, given no privacy, they would draw the curtains for the other patients when the doctors did their rounds and speak quietly about their conditions but for me the doctors just treated me with the curtains open and loudly discussed my issues in front of everyone, I had to beg them to close the curtains. And they brought a whole class of students to observe me and talked about my issues in front of them all without my consent. They just tried to punish me non-stop for what I’d done. No interest at all in what had driven me to it.
On being discharged I was then scolded and shunned, told to “just try and cheer up!” and “How could you do that? Don’t you think of anyone but yourself?” Did any of these people offer any help to alleviate my situation? No, of course not. Just judgment. And comments like “the woman in this news article is much worse off than you with a worse condition and look how happy she is, she’s grateful to be alive. Why can’t you be more like her?”
And one of the biggest reasons for this is that christianity is so culturally interwoven in western (especiallyin the US) society, so much that even your average non-believer would share a good part of christianity beliefs, with “suicide is a sin” being a pretty universal one. Though some denominations disagree, but more often than not in my experience your average evangelical does believe that, and so your average non-religious person believes that to on some level.
Yes, very much. Same as Christians shamed and bullied me for asking for food aid instead of helping me.
Im sorry comrade. I can’t say I understand because I’m not experiencing it first hand, but I can empathize.
My partner is in the midst of a diagnosis for an autoimmune disease. She’s spent the last 3 years dealing with unexplainable symptoms, having doctors doubt her because of her age, friends and family minimize her situation and complain about accommodating us. It’s so mentally and emotionally exhausting having to explain ourselves at every turn, even to the people who should just provide unconditional support.
People really can’t or won’t make the connection. Even if they do, they find a way to be ignorant and try to explain it away so that they don’t need to adjust their own behavior or expectations.
Sorry to hear that. It’s very common, especially with female patients. It took them three and a half years to diagnose my cancer because they refused to do any tests. They said I was “too young for it to be anything serious,” then when the symptoms didn’t resolve, diagnosed me with depression and gave me antidepressants and when those didn’t work said I was a hypochondriac. And people I know, at first were shocked by my diagnosis, but as time wore on and the shock wore off, they got bored of my problems and drifted away, leaving me with no support.
they find a way to be ignorant and try to explain it away so that they don’t need to adjust their own behavior or expectations.
I’d never thought about it like this before, but that does make a lot of sense.
That sounds horrible. I’m sorry you’re suffering and I’m sorry these people who were supposed to be helping abused you instead
Thank you.