Okay, this makes a lot more sense now with context. Yeah, naturally you’re fed up with just giving and not receiving. Out of curiosity, when you’re being infodumped on or people just talk and talk and talk, do you ask for their attention to what you want to talk about? And if so, how do you ask and what is their reaction?

Just being there for others, with this politeness, usually doesn’t lead to forming connections. What I’ve realized is the more you keep giving, the less people will give back. May it be attention or time or just the same basic courtesies you give them. The narrow line here is giving but establishing firm boundaries as to how far your politeness goes, and how much “being talked at” you’ll accept before you leave. People tend to show you more respect for what you want and care about if you say “I’ll listen to you talk about [infodump topic], but I also wanna share what’s on my mind.” It’s just you taking up the space you need for yourself. If you do this, people who actually respect and like you and want to form connections with you will do so. I’m only speaking out of what I learned myself over the last couple of years, and I know it’s precious little. It’s also really hard to do this stuff.

And you are right about people being honest about forming connections. Only thing I’d add here is that sometimes, when you meet someone new, you don’t know yet if you want to like this person or not. So people need time to get to know each other (this horrible thing called small talk), and that’s when this decision starts to be made. Once they’re sure, which comes from actually spending time together when the vibes are right, they will be more straightforward. It’s a game of patience and a lot of rejection, and I’m not sure there even is a surefire way to find the mutual and intentional connection with others.

Hope this helps you a little bit and doesn’t come off as a lecture. Let me know if I’m getting you wrong.